Have you ever told someone: It's okay if you stop breastfeeding most women can't." Or "Not every woman can breastfeed." Okay, I get it. You're trying to acknowledge the fact that a lot of women struggle with breastfeeding. It's true. Over 80% of mothers are breastfeeding in America when their babies are first born but then those rates drop dramatically to a little over 40% of moms exclusively breastfeeding their 3 months old.
So over half of women aren't exclusively breastfeeding or breastfeeding at all by the time their babies are 3 months.
You probably know someone who personally struggled so much to breastfeed only to stop after days or weeks of struggle. Even at 80%, that still proves that most women can breastfeed. The other 20% are choosing not to breastfeed or actually can't breastfeed. Having this mindset that most women can’t breastfeed automatically makes a mother believe her body may not work in the way that it is designed to work and that there’s a chance she most likely will fail. It ignores the fact that EVERY BABY IS MADE TO BREASTFEED. Mom’s that are truly unable to produce are rare and could be linked to hormone problems, severe breast injury, and sometimes surgery. Even if a mom has any of those issues these moms are still likely to be able to produce something.
So can most women not breastfeed? Let’s go over the reasons why some moms struggle with breastfeeding.
The Greedy baby
Feeding standards come from formula-feeding babies. Eating every 2-3 hours is pretty standard for a Formula-fed baby. It's what most breastfeeding moms are told about how often a breastfeeding baby should eat. The reality is that breastfeeding babies can eat anywhere from every hour to every 4 hours. How often a baby can eat varies day to day and even in a single day a baby may go 4 or 5 hours with no nursing and then go immediately into cluster feeding (frequent feedings in a short period of time) the next time they wake up! It's important to feed your baby when they're hungry. Don't give them a pacifier if they're showing signs of hunger. Understand baby feeding cues and understand that nursing for comfort is okay! When in doubt boob it out! Just feed your baby!
Watch your baby, not the clock!
Poor advice from Birth Professionals
The doctors and nurses ultimately have your baby's best interest in mind. Here's the truth: many doctors are giving outdated breastfeeding information, feeding into myths, and just plain bad advice. Lactation is a specialty skill. Most lactation counselors and consultants have 45 to 90 hours or more in lactation-specific training and take competency tests to gain certification in this specialty. Pediatricians, Nurses, and Doctors if they don't go through the extra training to specialize in lactation have general and basic knowledge of lactation. Which may only be a few pages of information in their medical textbooks.
When my son was presented with a possible allergy the pediatrician didn't try to diagnose him himself. He referred me out to a specialist. One who works with young children with allergies. Your doctor should be doing the same with any breastfeeding problems. Ask for a lactation referral if there are questions about breastfeeding!
The Events of Labor
One of the things that drew me to birth work was learning the events that happen during labor can impact breastfeeding and make it more challenging for mother and baby. Moderate to Severe blood loss can cause a delay in breastmilk coming in. Newborn practices like suction can cause a baby to become fearful of having anything in their mouth. Medications such as epidural, Pitocin, and IV medicine can also cause challenges for the baby to latch on. It's important to delay or avoid any medical interventions that aren't medically necessary during labor to prevent breastfeeding problems.
The desire for babies to sleep longer
It’s not you, it’s them! A frequent waking baby is normal and needed. Frequent waking is healthy and is an added protection for SIDS. The formula actually causes babies to sleep longer because it takes much longer for them to digest it and their body has to work harder to digest it. This frequent waking is one of the reasons why breastfeeding babies are less likely to die from SIDS. Another added protection to SIDS is having a baby room with you. Mom’s are more sensitive to baby’s needs when baby is in the room and baby’s find comfort in you being close and near.
Starting work too soon
Starting work as soon as 6 weeks can cause challenges with keeping up with your breastmilk supply. Pumping while can be very effective in draining the breast; it is not as effective as a nursing baby. So additional support and knowledge are needed in this area to help make sure a mom doesn’t lose her supply.
Perinatal Mood Disorders
While depression won’t cause a low milk supply, being unable to respond to your babies feeding cues and normal behaviors because you are sad or anxious can cause many struggles with breastfeeding. Babies can sense a distressed mom and may fuss more. This can sometimes be interpreted as a baby not wanting to breastfeed. Likewise, a mother with Postpartum OCD or Anxiety may become preoccupied with her milk supply and become fearful of starving her baby even when there are signs the baby is growing well. Some of this fear can actually stem from hearing other women's poor experiences with breastfeeding and fear it is happening to them or it can be from being told that most women can’t breastfeed. When dealing with perinatal mood disorders you can misinterpret babies' signals to you. Some moms want to see their milk and are anxious that they can’t see it so they are afraid they may starve their baby. It’s important to know the signs that your baby is getting enough and a lactation professional can show how much the baby is transferring as well.
Generational Gaps
Most of us have grown up seeing bottles being given to babies and not breasts. Before formula and bottles, girls saw their moms, aunts, and cousins nurse their babies. There were generations of help to assist with breastfeeding. Now some women may not have any mothers, friends, grandmothers, and other family members to help with breastfeeding. So many myths and misinformation has been spread about breastfeeding and so some people may give well-intended but harmful advice to the mother. It’s important for mothers to surround themselves with other mothers that have SUCCESSFULLY breastfed and know who in your community can assist with breastfeeding. Take a breastfeeding class and arm yourself with facts about breastfeeding.
Daycare challenges
Most daycares are trained well to formula feed babies. Going back to generational gaps many of the daycare workers themselves may have never breastfed or weren’t able to successfully. Breastfed babies don’t eat in the same way as formula-fed babies. They are fed on demand and they don’t require as much milk as a formula baby would. Breastmilk also comes with special storage guidelines that if the daycare providers are not aware of can cause a waste of milk. It’s important for you to educate your care providers in storage guidelines, and normal feeding behavior. Some workers may also be reluctant to care for breastfed babies and this can also cause feeding issues. Overfeeding is another common issue with breastfed babies as many daycares assume that when a baby cries they need to eat or they compare how much a formula baby normally eats and assume that a breastfed baby needs the same. These challenges can cause many milk supply concerns even if there aren't any.
All in all, it's BAD advice to tell mothers that most mothers can’t breastfeed. ESPECIALLY if they are struggling with breastfeeding. Breastfeeding moms with well-informed support and education can breastfeed (breastfeeding INCLUDES pumping and hand expression and any